ETA: Wow, did I mess those urls up or what? Pardon while I, er, fix some stuff.
ETAA: I swear this is my last edit. Really.
Nine days in and I have given up on the novel I was writing for NaNoWriMo.
And that's okay. I was behind from day one, and although I know I could have caught up, my biggest problem was that I didn't know how it was going to end, and for me, if I don't know how it's going to end, I just can't get interested enough in it to continue on. This has ultimately been a good thing, because it's something I've always suspected, but never really knew until now. The fact that internally I'm completely at peace with my decision only solidifies my opinion.
When I start a story, whether it be my own work or fanfic (strictly X Files, thankyouverymuch), I always know how it ends. Sometimes that's all I know. The ending, and usually one or two big scenes (or sentences, or bits of dialogue), and maybe the opening sentence. More importantly, I need to know the changes the main character goes through, what his or her story is, what lead them to where they are. I came across this great quote from some author, a woman who said:
Plot is what happens, Story is how it happens
I like to write the truth in my stories, in fact that's one of my goals. One of the joys of writing fanfic is the freedom to speak those truths without necessarily having to worry about creating character in the fullest sense of the word(unless one's adding in their own characters, natch). Of course one still has to write their version of said character, whether it's Mulder or Buffy or Spock or Miles Vorkosigan.
Eh, I lost my point. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that unlike previous years where I've tried and failed to write 50K words in 30 days, this year I feel like I've learned enough to not try and struggle against what the story is telling me, ie, stop while you're ahead. So I'm going to concentrate on finishing one of the many, many, many bits and pieces of fanfic in my writing folder on ye old hard drive. I'll be posting them online, not only at Gossamer, but also on Ephemeral and of course, the New Blog, where I've put up a teaser about what I'm going to be working on...
To end, here's a bit of poetry (people, I so do not write poetry it's not even funny) that came to me when I couldn't get the image of Agent Doggett (look, I've got nothing against Doggett and Reyes, but they're not my primary interest, if you know what I mean)(and the last two seasons sucked)(damned writers!) sitting at Mulder's desk, doodling, and then the opening line came into my head and that was it, I had to sit down and write....:
Disclaimer: Alas, alack, they are not mine. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Rating: PG13, Doggett-friendly
Archive:You betcha! A note where would be nice.
Note: I am not a poet.
He pauses, tapping the sharpened pencil tip
On the paper.
What other words end in -ic?
Of course, they don't really work.
Which is downright silly -
Now they're appropriate. Although both women
Monica would never admit her little habits
Are as finely ingrained as his own
And Agent Scully would simply kick his ass
For the mere suggestion that she was frequently
Which was, of course, completely
Of her. Actually, the two words that best
Describe her are
Neither of which he can fault her for being
Having now read through most of the Files. He
Suspects he's slipping into her former role,
The more she tries to fill Agent Mulder's shoes.
He wonders if this is a bad thing.
Leaning back in the chair, he eyes the ceiling.
Just as he bites his lip in concentration,
Aiming for the center of one empty tile,
The door opens and she steps into the office.
~Agent Doggett, she says~
In the deceptively mild tone that always reminds
Him of his mother right before she punished
Him for some transgression,
~Are you done for the day?~
~Uh, yeah. I guess so.~
~Good. I would hate to think you were bored.~
~Never, Agent Scully,~ he wishes he could think
Of some other words that end in -ic to explain
The emotion he's feeling right now:
He sighs as he stands, snagging his coat off of
The coatrack. The truth is, he's tired of
These cases. As attractive, hey,
That's -ct, stupid, not -ic. As attractive as
Agent Scully is, and he has recently reached the
Conclusion that he would take whatever crumbs from
Her person she chose to scatter in his
Direction, he does realize he deserves more.
Doesn't make him feel any less shy around her,
Like he was fifteen and she was his first crush.
Anyway, the truth is that he's not cut out for this
Kind of thing. His friends treat him like he's a
Joke, and the comments they make about Agent Scully
Piss him off. She's dedicated to her work, has a
Fine, working sense of
And what's more, treats him as an equal even when
He flat-out disagrees with everything she says.
~Have a good weekend,~ he calls, before closing
The door and heading down the hall. He knows he
Hasn't given her the same respect, but he's
Making an honest effort now that he's found Agent
Mulder. He is not Agent Mulder, and for her sake
He wishes he was. For his sake, too, because then
He'd be heading out to Spinney's to shoot the shit
With the gang instead of going home. These days,
Though, he finds he can't join in with their banter.
Not with what he's seen, what he's done. He chuckles
To himself. They warned him, AD Skinner and Agent
Scully. They warned him and in his hubris he ignored
Them, and so ended up exactly where they are,
Mocked, disliked, ribbed. Which is deliciously
One of my favorite pieces of fanfic, if I do say so myself. If you like the above, might I be so bold as to recommend my other favorites - all of which, I should add, are flawed, but I've left the flaws in because I like to see how my writing progresses with time. I don't think any of the following apart from Catch A Falling Star and the end of Manitou have any deliberate smut in them. Anyhoo, in no particular order (or style!):
2790 Vine St. - December 27, 1973.
All True Wealth - A scene, further explored. (for everyone on the Island)
A Penny On The Eye - It wasn't fair, that Dana had only to reach out with her fingertips, and there he would be.
Ravens and Crows - Bill sticks his oar in - not without just cause.
The Razor of Love - Who's gonna plug their ears when you scream?
Hot Rain - unsummarized for the suprize
Incident At Quonochontaug -Fallout, miles from Ground Zero
Manitou - Mulder and Scully frolic with a serial murderer. NC17
Quiet, He'll Hear You - very strong R (seriously), casefile
Summary: Fear can be either paralyzing or motivational
Birthday - (to be read after Quiet) 'Because she's my sister? Because she's been through a lot since Josh was born? Because . . . just because!' she drew the covers over her head.
Country of the Crepescule:
Catch A Falling Star - The horror, the fascination, the nausea, the envy, the guilt.
Local Boy - Can you ever really go home again?
Do You Like Our Owl? - Meet the kinder, gentler Bill Scully.
Scenes From A Murder Investigation
Hawkes - She remembered.
Platt - Poor schmucks, don't know what the hell they're letting themselves in for.
Interview - 'So you say, Ms. Johanssen,' he interrupted again. 'But no one will come forward to say you've done it for them. Why do you think that is?'
Again, you can find all of these stories - and more! - listed in the author pages under Dryad at Gossamer.