Brief Letters - with language

Dear Neighbor,

For the record, I hate you with the heat of a thousand burning suns.  If your brood of foster children (at $1500 a month, each, tax free) weren't enough, or the fact that you spend your days at the VFW playing bingo, or your lack of discipline with said children, or that you live off the proceeds of said 'fostering' (which appears to consist of food, housing, running the street's block party each summer, and 'having a place for the kids to hang out'), or the fact that your dearest darling nephew Who Can Do No Wrong is illegally breeding pit bulls in your back yard, or that you allowed them to run free in the neighborhood because 'they're really nice dogs', the fact that you let one small dog out at night and then are too fucking lazy to get up  to let said dog in, so it yelps, whines, barks, and screams for at least an hour every godsbedamned morning is more than enough to make me want to set fire to your house so that it will be you and your brood screaming and whining and wondering where the fuck you're going to go in the morning.

I was really happy to learn you'd been fined $400 for the 4 loose pit bulls running up the street, and even happier recently to learn that 2 of said dogs were recently removed from your home by Animal Control (who is possibly the second most hated member of the local power structure for A, being a total cunt, B, stealing pets, C, driving around all day doing fuck all and getting well paid for it, and D, ignoring calls or arriving hours after the fact so that, frex, clearly ill raccoons drooling and reeling in one's front yard during the height of the rabies epidemic were allowed to simply wander away).  Personally, I would like to remove you from the neighborhood entirely.

But we all know that's not going to happen, because you are a 'safe' foster parent, and have been for many, many years.  You are considered a saint and a savior for your 'work' with the children, who appear to be, if you ask me, teenagers.  Now, I have no problem with fostering in and of itself, several of my friends are and have been foster parents, and excellent ones at that.  By which I mean, they choose to actually, y'know, parent, by providing discipline as well as treats, by making sure the kids go to school and get jobs and working on their social skills and trying their damnedest to do the work the natural parents should have done to ensure those children (teens as well as grade schoolers) have a future that does not include pregnancy, junkiedom, or jail.  Some of those kids have succeeded, some are still trying, others have become completely lost, as would be expected of people who've been through far too much crap far too early in life.

However, you?  Your skills suck.  And by the way, so does animal abuse.  Oh, I know, state law is that as long as an animal is fed and watered, there's nothing the state can do.  Which is ludicrous, but there it is.

If I ever come across that dog being on its own at any time between 9AM-5PM on a freakin' weekday*?  I will do my best to see that it is removed post-haste, because someone has to watch out for it, since you are clearly unable and unwilling to do so.

Yours,

Not A Fan

And, seeing as I'm short on sleep this morning, having gone to bed late, and woken yet again to the sounds of a screaming dog, a wee letter to Tim 'I created Heroes' Kring;

Dear Tim,

Crossing Jordan bites.  Jill Hennessy, you were much better on L&O.  Miguel Ferrer, I'm sorry the Bionic Woman didn't work out for you.  Ravi Kapoor, you deserve better.  Also, I'm very impressed with your accent.  I'd never have guessed you were from Liverpool.

Yours,

Disappointed TV Crime Fan

~*~

Bah, humbug.

Oro out

* those are the hours said Animal Control officer works.  What, you expected differently?

Comments

[Tracy]

Ugh. How aggravating...I don't even know what to say about the dogs and most of all the kids.

[Cricket]

Just wait and see how cranky you'll be when said dogs wake up the baby, too. Can't wait for that post!

[Lindsay]

Thank you so very much for your kind message. It means a lot that you'd take the time to write that out to a complete stranger. Again, thank you.

[Amanda]

...and I thought my neighbors were bad.
Damn!

[Browneyedgirl]

Neighbors! BLECH, I hate 'em for you!

[hoping for a child]

i don't know what bothers me more...the way your neighbor uses the kids for cash or the animal abuse. what a nightmare.