Dear Other Drivers,
I feel the need to point out a few things, namely:
- when the lane you're in widens and the driver behind you puts on their left turn signal, this means they want to pass you
- speeding up when they pass you on the right makes you an ass
- When it's dark out and you are approaching another car in the opposite lane and they flash their lights at you, this means YOUR ^%%$@ BRIGHTS ARE ON, you moron
- when it's dark out and you want to turn into the opposite lane, wait until the car in the nearest lane passes you before pulling out into the m-ing road so they don't brake really hard because they are doing like 50mph and are far closer than you think
- one of the sticks on your steering column turns on your blinkers which, in case you've forgotten, tells other drivers which way you're turning. If you want to turn by me and your indicators aren't on? Well, no blinky, no turny!
- which reminds me, those things at the intersections that go RED, YELLOW, GREEN? If there are more than three of them facing you, that means there might be additional lights for the lane that you are in - imagine that!
- pedestrians are not for running over*
- cyclists may be traffic, so start acting like there are rules of the road you twits
- braking at every turn or oncoming on a two lane highway? Assholio.
- Are you from New York/New Jersey/Connecticut? Do you own an SUV? Could you learn how to drive it? Actually, could you just learn hot to drive?
- Are from Massachusetts? Because there is a reason why you're known as MASSholes...
Yours, A Driver Who Pays Attention To What They're Doing
Dear Baby Book Publishers,
You may not have noticed, but not all babies are white. I know, imagine that! See, I work in a bookstore, and while or baby section is only a few shelves, it's hard not to notice that every birth/pregnancy book has a white baby on the cover. Conversely, Adoption Book Publishers, white babies do get adopted too, so feel free to put a few on your covers, m'kay?
Yours, A Person Of Color
Dear BBC News,
* the reverse also holds true - don't jaywalk against the lights. That makes drivers want to run you over. Even more when you are pushing a stroller/walking your pet. On a corner.