Dearest John Stewart -
Dude, seriously, enough with the fat jokes. Honest, they're not funny.
Dear Ricky Gervais -
The Office is awesome. Your standup, however? Not so much. Again, enough of the fat jokes.
Dear Customers -
I have eyes. That means that if it's raining out and I ask if you want a bag, you do not need to tell me that it's raining outside in that snotty tone. Women, if you are carrying bags or a backpack, I'm still going to ask whether or not you want a bag, because that's part of my job. A simple 'Yes' or 'No' will suffice.
Dear Republicans -
Increasingly Angry Citizen
Dear Other Drivers (including ones from Canada) -
Learn how to drive. Seriously. Things you DO NOT NEED TO DO:
- brake at every single corner
- brake when other drivers are approaching in the other lane
- speed up when the road is straight
- pull out in front of a driver needlessly when there is no one behind the driver
- behave like you own the freakin' road
- ignore the rules of the road (assuming you bothered to learn them in the first place)
Scared To Drive Home After Work On Friday and Saturday Nights