I got a bad ca-
Right, sorry. Cuz, boy, that ain't the truth.
Yesterday started out good, a 'swift' 3-hour ride up north with my mom (Mr Oro was ill and stayed home) up to the clinic for my HSG. I am most happy to report that there's been very little pain, unlike my first HSG. Dr 20something was very nice, and happy that I mentioned that I need the long speculum. She wasn't too gentle about it, but whatever. I felt the catheter going into my cervix, and the dye being pushed through (still painful), but it was all over quite fast.
And guess what? Everything is peachy keen. All the dye spilled out, my fallopian tubes and uterus are normal (I realize the uterus is basically a pocket, but it looked like a damned small pocket to me) and although I have a wee prescription for V*codin, I don't actually need it. Which, after reading the Notes Of Death (aka, the side effects page) is fine with me.
Now, if that's where things would have ended, that would have been way cool.
So, we took the long way home, as it was rainy and picturesque, made a pee and snack break, whereupon I discovered I was bleeding. I knew I might spot, but the rush of fluid when I got out of the car was pretty tremendous. Nonetheless, my maternity (ha!) pad caught most of it and saved my skirt, so things were good.
You can see where this is going, can't you.
We got home about 45 minutes later. Then, after several hours filled with multiple pad and underwear changes, the second start of my evening culminated in standing up and:
a) having blood run down my legs and onto the floor
b) blood soaking the lap of my skirt and
c) blood soaking the bottom of my shirt (white, natch)
d) passing a clot the size of my palm
which led to:
e) my calling the clinic ER and then going to my local ER, where I spent the next 2.5 hours bleeding over everything (the chair, various tables, the floor, including a wicked dark clot the size of a walnut that dropped out of my body and onto the floor as I took off my underwear)
After multiple doctors and nurses took a gander at me (their first expressions were variations of 'jebusgod!')(heh) they called in an OB-GYN who proceeded to do more poking and prodding. My uterus and cervix were unscathed, leading us all to believe that I have a vaginal tear or laceration somewhere. Thankfully, by the time I got home (1:20AM) the bleeding had slowed, and by morning had stopped completely.
Now that I've been to the ER I feel like a real infertile. Woo.
Things I have learned while bleeding for 10 hours:
big clots feel funky.
doctors can be skeeved
bleeding makes you really dehydrated
cottonmouth is yucky
bleeding makes you really tired
not even Stephen Colbert can make it better
How was your day?