I don't really know what to say about the site, We Are The Real Deal, perhaps you read it and have different opinions than I do. The site, which sprang from a BlogHer panel, had one of my favorite bloggers, Kate Harding, as a member. So, um, yeah. They have a mission statement, and then one of them wrote something, and the website kind of blew up. Here's the post which brought me to the beginning of the blow up...I'd be interested in your take on it:
Seeing as I have a few free minutes [it only took 3 hours...], I'm going to attempt to blogwhore. Oh good gods this is going to be a long post. Unless, of course, I find lots of links that no longer work (NYT, I'm talking to you) or are completely out of date...
~*~
DD: Yeah, I'm going to work through it on my own. Unless, of course, I start having Bad Thought of the Andrea Yates variety. Support from family is not forthcoming, so, y'know. And I just reapplied for Medicaid (I did mention I finally got on Medicaid, right?)(oh, and I got a $1500 refund from my OB and paid off the remaining $722.19 that I owed from one of my hospital bills from July '07, woot! Which leaves $1000 remaining from my July ER visit...)
MsP: oh yes, poor Duffy. Funnily enough, Mercy is the song I listen to the least. Also, I love Moloko, Portishead, not so much. I try and mix up the music, but sometimes all I can do is wallow. I have decided that Putumayo's Acoustic Brazil cd is a little too lounge-y in parts, a little too cool, a little too Girl From Ipanema (and here's where I must recommend the fabulous movie, Deep Rising. It's gloriously silly. Not as good as Tremors, but definitely up there! Besides, the Girl From Ipanema moment still makes me laugh)
~*~
I walked the dog with my mom yesterday at the oldest cemetary in town. Normally I love going to cemetaries, checking out the fashions in headstones, looking at the most popular names, reading the details of the deaths, making rubbings. Frex, at the cemetary near by, there's a dual grave with dual slate headstones from either the late 1700's or the early 1800's. The story, as written on the headstones, is very moving, for on a hot summer's day, two boys, the best of friends, one 17, the other 16 or so, went swimming in the big river that flows past town (three rivers run through town). The river is deceptively slow, and one of the boys got in trouble. The other tried to rescue him, resulting in both of their deaths. And so their families buried them together, and wrote of the friendship and deep love for one another, ending with the hope that they were in heaven together, doing all the things they loved to do. Like I said, very moving.
Anyway, what I'd forgotten, what I'd always found so sad, are the early graves, the family graves. It's not just Eliza, Wife of Erasmus, but Elizabeth, 1820-1821, Adam, 1826, and the simple Baby, 1829. Jean and Joan, 1831
There were too many tiny headstones with Baby listed on the top. There was one grave with three children in it, all under two years old. We take for granted (well, not necessarily us infertiles, but most fertiles in general) the advances in modern medicine. Most babies in the Western world don't die from getting a cold, or malnutrition because their family's run out of food or wood or coal in spring.
And then I think of my childhood and life in our one room, tar paper shack cabin*, and of how when I was 5, drifting in and out of delirium from pneumonia, how mom's friend P went out in the middle of a violent thunder storm to chop down a nearby birch for the stove because we were out of wood, and now how frequently the power goes out at my house and how we can't stay there next winter without a wood stove because there's no way we can deal (well we can, but I really don't want to and dammit, shouldn't have to) with no power when it's -25F/-32C outside, and sure, I've got a gas top stove, great for soup and tea, but let me assure you that even with the new, thicker insulation and dual pane windows, the house gets damned cold in such weather, but my point is that even with vaccinations and a decent roof over our heads, how easy it would be for the Chieftain and so many other babies to die.
Maybe that's a long stretch of the imagination, yet those gravestones are there for a reason. So I was a little depressed from that by the time we got home. The food situation has not improved, either, which is far from helpful.
~*~
Anyway, it's time to blogwhore.
HEALTH:
Good Fatty, Bad Fatty - eating disordered and fat, great article no matter your size, don't forget the comments
Remember This - I'm intrigued...hope I remember the article!
Why Don't Fat Women Get Checked? - for cancer of the nasty bits? For the same reason I steel myself before going to any doctor, telling myself that I don't give a rat's patootie what they think me so long as they treat me.
BPA News: Hey, Canada's just banned it, isn't that good enough?
A Million To One - yeah, what the article doesn't talk about is how differently these kids are going to be treated, or how it's going to affect their relationship to one another. There was a program about this in twins in the UK before I left, and what was truly sad was how most of the twins resented one another, the black twin resenting the white twin's privilige, the white twin resenting the black twin's resentment, etc, etc.
The Real Problem With Single Parents - honestly, why didn't Slate just title it 'Single Women With Children Must Be Punished For Their Transgressions Against Teh Menz'.
The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar - amazing story from NPR's This Modern Life. Very highly recommended. (free download, ws, although why you'd listen to it at work I don't know)
Armenia: The Epic Land (photo heavy) - remember watching LOTR and thinking to yourself that before you died you had to visit New Zealand? Yeah, well, now I feel that way about Armenia, too. If you're on dialup or have limited time, here's one example of the pics. And another.
I'm sorry, but I have to post this here. Stuff White People Like has a lot to answer for. Also, doesn't this guy look like he belongs to the New Kids On The Block? He certainly dances like he should...
~*~
Oro out.
* when I find the pics of the cabin I grew up in I will scan and post them.
That's how tired I am at the moment. Mr Oro is ill (dude, it's been over a month!) and currently in bed with...? Me, I've been up since 5:30AM.
What should I watch next (suggestions appreciated):
Finished: The Wire season 4, Battlestar Galactica Season 2 Started: Friday Night Lights, BSG Season 3 Possibles: Oz, Prison Break, Lost Season 2, Rome season 2
Flicks: The Mist - scared the heck out of me. And the ending? Oy. Death At a Funeral - hi-larious Darjeeling Limited - um, what?
Married Spinsters - 2008? Check. Islamic nation? Check. No life for anyone? Triple check.
Phyllis Currott Interview - I didn't care for her book, but then I'm not a Dianic Wiccan. Interesting interview focusing on witchcraft in Asia/Africa and the public deaths of said 'witches'. Welcome to the new Burning Times (term used strictly as a reference, not as The Truth).
Radio Rapist - IcySpicyLeoncie's music. With lyrics. Words, they fail.
MOVIE TRAILERS:
Righteous Kill - DeNiro! Pacino! Mm...maybe not so much.
The Strangers - holy moly that looks creepy. But not as creepy as Funny Games, of which I've only seen the German original, but I hear rave reviews for the American version ( byt the same director). Oh, it's not funny. At all. And I love Michael Pitt.
Run, Fat Boy, Run - I love Simon Pegg. O, look what I found, it's the first episode of Spaced:
Tropic Thunder - Stiller! Black! Downey, jr! Now this I'm looking forward to, and I'm far from Ben Stiller's biggest fan (internets, The Zero Effect is still his finest movie) Oh, it resizes your screen, too.
To end, here's the first 6 minutes of Father Ted, Series 1, Episode 1. Lookie, it's available on Amazon! Along with Spaced, hands down one of the funniest sitcoms ever made. Seriously.
Kids, I've got to go to the hospital in the Ay Em and am not sure I'll be back before the weekend is over (which will win out, strength of will or utter terror?). I'll have Mr Oro update on TLU if I'm not home by noon tomorrow.
~*~
Dear Mom,
For the record, the two shows I hate most in the history of television are Animal Cops and Animal Rescue. This means I really get distressed when I see animal cruelty, animals bloody, in pain, starving, on the verge of death or, actually, dead.
I know you're totally not getting this, even though I've repeatedly said how much I hate these shows, so thanks for putting it on when I'm under a lot of stress.
Yours,
Your Loving Daughter Whom You Often Drive Nuts, And Who Is Glad To Return The Favor
~*~
Highlight to read Idol commentary with SPOILERS:
Idol: were you as underwhelmed as I was about the girls? Irish Carly was good, as was Brooke 'You're So Vain' White. Everyone else pretty much sucked. I'm not surprised that one of the interchangeable young blondes left, nor the black chick, whose name I can't recall either. I'm bummed that Jason Yeager's off, I thought he was better than say, Luke Menard. And Simon was absolutely right about Robbie Carrico. Dude, rock is not your thing.
~*~
HEALTH:
Thanks, Grandpa - a lovely post about the unwitting affects others have upon us.
Fat 101 - request for titles to be used in marriage and counseling coursework.
RELIGION:I have to say, sometimes I feel guilty for sticking the Muslim identified posts under 'religion' as so often they could go under Social Commentary as well. However, as the two are so frequently intertwined, for the meantime I'm going to continue putting them in this category.
Stripping Away The Diversity Of Modesty - I don't consider myself a prude, but sometimes I really wish more people would show less flesh. That doesn't mean I think everyone should be covered from head to toe, just that there's a huge difference between assy and classy (or, as actually prefer to say it 'where'd they get that outfit, Tarts R Us?' and 'way to look like a whore!' Clearly covers the girls more than the boys - although having said that...). Know what I mean?
Turkey Revising The Hadith - wow, an Islamic Reformation? Or just changing things around to suit modern needs? And if so, isn't that what Reformation is all about, anyway?
Ah, another happy evening in the household. Mr Oro has gone apparently gone to bed, being pissed off at something or another, the dog is skulking, my mother is pissed at me for breaking stuff I didn't know existed in the spare room where we very occasionally dry laundry (she's also asked me to wash any single dish I use, but no more than that, to which I say, why fucking bother), later on she'll get even more pissed that she has to a) put out the garbage, b) hang her own laundry, and c) walk the dog, all of which will somehow become my fault.
I love how that works. Especially as I'm supposed to be the hormonal and mood changy one - go figure, eh?
~*~
Oscar Blogging:
In Oscar news, way to go with the filler. Good gods, it's only just begun and it's already crap. Jon Stewart, I totally don't get the Olympia Dukakis joke. Anyone else finding the musical 'time!' thing during the speeches rude and annoying? Jerry Seinfeld, really, yet another Bee Movie plug? I really hate the Diet Coke ads. Talk about 'better living through chemicals'!
Oh, look, it's yet another red dress.
Jennifer Garner - I didn't even recognize you. Dress of the evening?
Jennifer Hudson - from the front, you look gorgeous. From behind, not so much.
Dear Cate Blanchett - any other hairstyle would have been better than your basic ponytail.
Tilda Swinton - it's about time you got an Oscar. But the sack dress? No.
Marion Cotillard - well done! If you haven't see La Vie En Rose yet, do so, she's unbelievable.
Nicole Kidman - how pregnant are you?! They say black is slimming, but good grief!
Penelope Cruz - it's not 1885 and you don't work in a saloon.
~*~
And my stomach hurts from the eggs and cheese toast I had for dinner (which I also ate for lunch, in a hilarious twist of irony).
Got ED? - wow, if this is an example of supportive 'tips' for one's child with an ED, I shudder to think what ''uninformed people might suggest.
Jenny Craig - analysis of their food (not the program, the food itself)
NEWS/POLITICS/SOCIAL COMMENTARY:
Poverty Is Poison - but the poor don't exist for any political party any more, right? I mean, when was the last time you remember anybody even mentioning 'the poor'? No, today it's all about the middle class.
Guilty Until You Can Pay Up - I have no problems with people volunteering money for getting a Public Defender, but in this case one has to wonder where the money's really going to go...
Imaginary Tribal Art - you'd be hard pressed to think of this as not stemming from some indigenous culture, somewhere. Check out the work section of her site.
Oh! I forgot to mention that I had my WIC interview the other day and it went well. Both the coordinator and the dietician were flabbergasted by MVP/Catamount's treatment of me. Both were stunned that I had been told I was ineligible for Medicaid and VHAP*. Both were very helpful, and I can expect my first WIC delivery next week.
Oro out.
* you'd think being unemployed would make me eligible for VHAP, but no! However, my neighbors, they got turned down by VHAP, got into Catamount and then were switched to VHAP - go figure.
I went to Sunday brunch with my neighbors, the foster parents, this morning. They were pretty beat down from their latest child, who will be, unfortunately, one of those kids who will be in foster care until he's 18. It's not because he's not smart, no, at 8 he already knows well and good how to work the system, it's because he's already reached the conclusion that he has to win at all costs. He's going to beat those foster parents into submission no matter what - and he doesn't even realize what he's setting himself up for. It's sad. The foster parents know they're not the ones who can help him, and he's having an effect on the other two foster kids they have...and they feel guilty for wanting him out of their house. But, I said, at least you know the truth of the situation. Your goal is to make him understand that while he lives in your house, this is the behavior that's expected, nothing more, nothing less. It's hard for them, the hardest kid they've had thus far.
What I wanted to talk about, though, was the amount of little kids and babies in the restaurant. Must be out of staters, because here, you just don't see that many little kids all in one place unless you're near a school that's just let out for the afternoon. I found it weird and uncomfortable. Everyone just looked so...normal. I mean, it's Sunday morning, brunch time...where else would you go if you're from out of town or having a long weekend? Still. I guess I'm not yet ready in mind to make the changeover, to actually be one of those people.
~*~
HEALTH:
Show Biz Medicine - hey Oprah, STFU already. Btw, good discussions of health issues have people from all points of view, not just one. Mmkay?
About Massachusetts' Mandatory Health Care... - I've also heard that many businesses are breaking into small 'corporations' of 20 people or less so as to fall outside offering the mandatory insurance through jobs. In addition, there aren't enough doctors to go around, of the ones that accept people through this program, and then it will take weeks and months to actually get an appointment. I believe I read this in the Globe a few months back, but I can't find the proper source where I read it.
Homeless - Eye. Roll. So, a young white man with a college education who decides to vacation on the other side of the tracks actually makes it in this crazy old world?! You don't say! This guy's been featured on NPR and has, of course, a book coming out. I highly recommend reading Double Nickelled and Dimed for some pithy (and correct) commentary, and then reading Being Poor. I have to say that Being Poor was tantamount to throwing me back into my childhood, as well as bringing up so much of how I feel about going on WIC and Dr Dynasaur. What's odd is that despite my current situation in life, married to a man who has a career and can provide a very good quality of life (by UK standards), I unconsciously still follow so many of the rules of Being Poor...and that really scares me. Apparently, in the back of my brain, I still think that it could be taken away from me in a heartbeat. I am terrified of losing all the wealth my mother gained, of letting it slip through my fingers unwittingly, of going back to buying 'new' clothes from the second hand shops (and the smell in those shops, the thick scent of old clothing? That's the odor of desperation, people), of being afraid to buy a used book for fear that I might need the change to buy a 6-pack of Ramen instead. Damned depressing. For the record, I hated Barbara Ehrenreich's book, too.
Immersion Therapy - I couldn't handle hanging with the black students after 6 weeks my freshman year in college, never mind doing only black entertainment for 3 months. I'm not saying there isn't a lot of lost art, just that I'm not going to limit my horizons. Also, I hate having to live with someone else's agenda.
The Hidden Cost of Being African American - I consider myself lucky. My mother was able to buy her house for $200 down in 1979 from Farmer's Home Administration. $28k for a 3 bd, 1 bath house with full basement, attic, sunroom, front and back yards. It was built in 1919 and features hardwood flooring and cherry trim throughout - how unbelievable is that? And because of that, I've had a comfort zone growing up that I never even realized was there .
Savage Breast - interview with Tim Ward, author of Savage Breast, a really interesting, if at times very uncomfortable (dude lays it all on the line) story of how he got in touch with the Divine Feminine. At the end of it, my reaction was more along the lines of, Well, duh, dude. This is what happens when you're not completely absorbed in your own wants and needs. In other words, not being an asshole. Recommended read, though.
Can't Win For Trying - listen, I get why Turkey wants separation of Mosque and State, but I just don't think banning head scarves from universities and public buildings is the way to go about it. And yet, reading what Ms. Benli says "...she did not want people untrained in religion to decide for her [whether or not Islam requires the veil]" it seems to me that it's even more important that the discussion takes place in the open. It seems to me (not being a Muslim) that those who wear the scarf see it as an issue of morality, while those who don't see it as an issue of, perhaps, bad/unwanted tradition. No one wins when it comes down to morals...
Irony Abounds - Anti-Gay UK Anglicans write a book. Check out that cover!
Swimming Towards Progress - I wanna be a lifeguard! Which reminds me of this song...btw, if you can find the tape/cd, it's totally awesome.
Before the blogwhoring begins, I'd like to call your attention to this great blog I came across the other day, The Apostate. The Apostate is written from the perspective of a 25 year old ex-Muslim, now Atheist (and Feminist, to annoy evenmore people) woman from Pakistan. I'm only about halfway through her blog, but wow, she's one heck of a writer. I've picked out a couple of posts from March and April, 2007:
And here's a quiz she posted recently about class and privilege. I'm going to play, too. Bold the ones that fit you (I'm italicizing the ones that aren't straightforward, or occurred during college)(and the formatting's a little off):
When you were in college:
If your father went to college If your father finished college If your mother went to college If your mother finished college If you have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor. If you were the same or higher class than your high school teachers If you had a computer at home
f you had your own computer at home
If you had more than 50 books at home If you had more than 500 books at home If were read children’s books by a parent If you ever had lessons of any kind If you had more than two kinds of lessons If the people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively If you had a credit card with your name on it If you have less than $5000 in student loans If you have no student loans If you went to a private high school If you went to summer camp If you had a private tutor
If you have been to Europe
If your family vacations involved staying at hotels
If all of your clothing has been new and bought at the mall
If your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
If there was original art in your house
If you had a phone in your room
If you lived in a single family house
If your parent own their own house or apartment
If you had your own room
If you participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
If you had your own cell phone in High School
If you had your own TV in your room in High School
If you opened a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College If you have ever flown anywhere on a commercial airline
If you ever went on a cruise with your family
If your parents took you to museums and art galleries
If you were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family
Funny, apart from private high school and the opera lessons I took one summer, I wouldn't have put any of my bolded answers under class. Of course, that might just stem from the area I come from, where a lot is available to anyone and frequently there are grants or sliding scale fees for lower income people like myself.
I was privileged to go to a private grade school, high school, and college - but not without financial aid! And for high school, my mom worked there, so it was basically free apart from the cost of books and various programs like the horse barn (it was a farm school). I'd like to add that this is no longer possible at my high school, and indeed, it currently costs more to go there as a day student than it does to go to my college. And they're going to build a 14,000 foot gymnasium in one of the old corn fields.
I am not pleased, and I don't think the founder of the school would be pleased. It's turning, or perhaps already has turned, into the kind of school that people go to to say they went to, rather than as an institute for higher learning and experiencing Something Different. I'd dreamed of my future children going there, but now I don't want them too...
I've spoken before about how the various schools I went to, and how some of the public schools were genius, and how some of the private ones, well, not so much. Sometimes I think intent is lost when it comes to discussions of privilege and class.
As for art, we've been given some stuff by friends of the family who are artists, and lots of museums and galleries have free sections, so it's just a matter of getting to them, which can be difficult if you live in a rural area. Again, I wouldn't consider going to either of those a matter of class or privilege, just time.
So, I was poor, but I got to do stuff. I don't really know what to say beyond that, I kind of feel...well, lucky that my mom, a first generation American, the daughter of European peasants (no, really, peasants) was brought up to be curious about the world, and so passed it on to me. That's not dependent on class or privilege, is it? What do you think? Oh, and here's an interesting discussion about this exercise.
HIV/AIDs Funding?- not unless you teach those poor dark skinned savages about abstinence, too. Because culture, violence against women and children, and working abroad don't have anything to do with it, no. Bastards.
You Are What You Spend - also, W. Michael Cox and Richard Alm are fucking fuckwads who pretty clearly don't understand that just because you bought a $70 color tv at Wally World, that doesn't mean you're cashing in stocks and bond and buying groceries at Marks and Spencers. And what do they do for a living? Why, they're economists!
Britney - if any of this is true, no wonder the poor kid's messed up.
My Life As The Mother Of Prince And Paris - lady, you gots you some issues. (apologies for top sidebar item - imagine seeing that kind of story everywhere, every day, and that's what living in the UK is like as an infertile. Hell.)
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